Thankfull...

i am a thankful person!

i have a family who travel across the country to see me and my little family, i have a great immediate family, I have a job that i love, I live in a place I could see my self calling home for... well maybe ever, i wake up thankful about everyday.

this year has been a good one, a tough one, a quick one, a long one and everything in between. S is in 1st grade and it has been a year of many firsts for him and us. the wigglers are just a month away from a year old. how that happened is beyond me, a year ago i was so excited and terrified all in one. 10 months ago i was so tired i am surprised i made it to work everyday and S had a lunch to take with him. 8 months ago i was still so tired but the haze was starting to lift. with the haze came the realization that i was rapidly putting back on all my lost weight plus a bunch more. 6 months ago i decided that i wanted to be around for my family for a bit longer than chance would allow me. now from 6-a little over 3 from now it took me a bit to really get on board but i am here! 56 pounds lighter, 16 minutes faster when "running" a 5K, a few sizes smaller, considerably lower cholesterol, a healthier me and a bit closer to my goal.

this month has been a slower one for me, and honestly i have slipped a few times, the most was this past week. i work in retail so right now i am immersed in crazy busy work and silly work schedules so i found myself making bad choices when at restaurants, while momentarily still i found myself ordering things like spinach dip and not a spinach salad and a beer and not water. i have had more wine recently and had a few pieces of pie over the past few days. typically this would result in me falling off the deep end and going crazy with many and all bad decisions. it hasn't though, while i did and ate things i shouldn't i am still trucking around and not letting anything to snowball.

i am excited for what these next few months will hold for me, i am excited for the possibility of losing more pounds, and i am excited the track i am on!

happy thanksgiving - I know the next few months will prove to hold more to be thankful for!

56 pounds!

2011 has been a bit of a bi*#h...

ok so this year we have had a real tornado, i was hit by a drunk driver on the highway, J broke her knee 2 weeks ago and today my uncle passed away. oh yeah and all with twin babies and a six year old. i may be ready to ring in the new year!

today we celebrated S's bday at the gym with 7 6 year old boys and 1 little girl (very tolerant of the 7 little boys :) We did rock climbing and it was a huge success.

J broke her knee 2 weeks ago trying to get a tension rod out of the door frame - this has proved to throw a kink in our house but J has been a trooper and other than being bummed about not being able to run she is really making every thing else work. here's to hoping and praying that she will be able to start her Big Sur 20 miler training next month.

more about me soon, when i can find a few extra minutes to update. long story short, i am now at 41 pounds down. 41 pounds, that's 8 bags of flour - that's a lot of flour.

i am not good at blogging

i am not good at blogging, not sure if its because i have no time, have noting witty to say or just find myself boring.  anyway here i am a week later.

this week was hard, i was hungry all the time and craving all sorts of crap.  i have been no stop focusing on food also which is completely consuming every thought and moment... i am missing cheese big time this week also and as a result i bought a super expensive french brie from our local cheese shop.  i was really good any didn't eat it on crackers and only had a bit but oh boy it is so tasty and now its in my house.  i don't know if it is better to not even buy it or have little bitty splurges?!  see, lord i am boring!

my race is in 1 week, i am almost ready.  no plans to be that fast just to finish.  i am excited to do it and proud that i am at this point.  i did the warrior dash this summer and thought i was going to die, glad to be in a better place just a few months later.

my friend just finished the Portland marathon and J is just 2 months away from the Memphis marathon - crazy running in my life right now.  i know that i can be where they are in the next year or so if i continue what i have started!  but i am nervous about 3.2 miles so 26 is not even something i can comprehend at the current moment.  i am glad though i am surrounded by great people who are positive influences and who support the heck out of me :)

i lost 3 lbs this past week.  well actually 3.2 but i don't count if under .5 i for the ease of remembering, i simply do full and half lbs.  33 pounds - i still have what seems like forever to go but 33 is a good number!

great weekend and 30 pound mark!

great weekend full of lots of activity.  Saturday was the diaper dash and 1/2 miler.  the twins rocked their crawl, official bib and all.  it was rather funny to watch all of these babies just sit there looking at everyone.  baby boy was quite excited that a mom had a sippy cup as enticement for her daughter.  needless to say we had to bring him back a few times from flirting trying to steal the cup.  baby girl sat there really the entire time eating grass.  :)
big brother rocked the 1/2 miler and ran with a friend that we ran into.  all three got medals for their great work.
J ran the 10miler today and even after a few weeks of limited activity finished ahead of last race.  weather was great so we hung out and waited for the men and women's elite to finish the marathon.  absolutely amazing how they can make 5:30 miles look so effortless!
i went to boot camp 2x's this week as well as the gym every other day.  it was a great week, busy busy but i feel like i am in the groove!  i find myself going longer and harder and i am starting to feel the results.  as well i look like i may have lost a few pounds.
i will blog more tomorrow what i have been doing but i need to go to bed now :)

i lost 4.2 lbs this week!  for ease of tracking (maybe lazy) i always round down to even numbers if under .6 so 4 lbs it is!! 

bringing my total to 30 pounds!!!  that is a fun number to report!

Biometric screening tests today

oh it seems like my weeks are not getting any slower or less full.  thankful it is friday :)  i had a biometric physical today.


BP
132/89

Total Cholesterol 154
HDL 45
LDL 97
Triglycerides 63

Fasting Glucose 103

so plan of attack is - continued weight loss for the BP and then re assess in a few months.
Cholesterol was really good - need to work on boosting my HDL(good cholesterol) - continued diet and weight loss as well as specific good fat foods.

fasting glucose 103 - weight loss should also help this improve.

i was weighed - 4 pounds less than i am weighing at home.  not sure what to do with this, i think i am just going to stick to what my scale says but still a bit tickled that it was 4 less than i thought :)

heading to the gym now  back from the gym

eggplant meatballs

i made eggplant meatballs last night.  now there are many food items that i make that are supposed to be a healthy version of something and taste kinda sucky honestly.  but oh my these eggplant balls are pretty amazing.  even the boy(6 years old) asked for 2nd's.  they do not taste a darn thing like a meatball but they are flavorful, hold up under sauce and are good!

peer pressure after a crazy week...

long, long week.  had a presentation to give this week that was as much presentation as it was deep dive discussion into my teams and culture of my district.  it was great but the unknown prior to it was stressful.  i have been with a lot of people this week, through prep sessions, meetings ect.. and all week i had done a great job with eating what i had packed or carefully selected off a menu.  yesterday when we were all finished we went to a bar for a drink and a bit of decompression.  when placing orders for drinks and apps i ordered a salad sans dressing and i then proceeded to listen to everyone saying aghh its no big deal, just let loose and enjoy that we are finished ect... i know that no one was trying to be mean or even recognize that they were acting like peer pressuring bullies but it sucked.  i felt like i had to justify my decisions and why i cant just have a few nachos or fried green beans like everyone else - i suck at moderation and because of that i needed to have my salad and not bar food.
peer pressure at 38 who would have thought.

with everything going on this week i was in the groove with the gym and eating, i lost 6 pounds this week!  6 pounds!

total weight loss so far 26 pounds!!

Don't call it a comeback. I have been here for years...

aghh it has been a crazy 2 weeks, from trips to Iowa to our national sales meeting i am worn out.  i realized it had been a long time in between posts and thought i would do a quick one.

trip to Iowa with peers was fun! i have what i think to be a 2nd degree burn on my knee from a 4 inch strip i missed sunscreen on.  i did really good with alcohol and food though i did eat some crap.  i ended up losing 2 pounds that week.  even better was that i was able to not go crazy with beer and chips!

last week was our sales meeting and typically it is a week of up till 2-3am, parties, tons of alcohol and really bad food choices.  i did extremely well and as a result was probably the most alert than i have ever been.  i was able to actually sleep for more than 3 hours most nights, never woke up with a hang over and did very very well with food.  the big meeting was outstanding - a bit mellower than years past music wise, but wow!  James Taylor, Tony Bennet, Beyonce, Allison Krause, Oprah, Taylor Swift oh and the little Willow smith.  Tony Bennet was OUTSTANDING!!! 

i am behind on my running which is my fault for not taking risks and using the hotel gym during the meeting but had a great workout at the gym today hope to catch up on my missed 3 days.  total weight loss this past week was just shy of 3 lbs.

total weight loss so far 20 lbs!!

3 minutes

think about how fast 3 minutes is.  it is not even the length of an average song on the radio.  seems like if asked to get something done in 3 minutes it would be over before you knew it.  well that is all except running for 3 minutes straight.  today i started week 3 of my couch to 5k training and i had to run 2x's for 3 minutes.  heavens it seemed like 3 hours!  the first time i so wanted to quit and almost did but pulled it out.  i am proud of myself and i know that i can do this even though i sound like a freight train and am slow :)

heading to a lake with my peers tomorrow to hangout on a house boat and speed boat then spend the night at a resort and hit the town - super fun but also full of crazy temptations - tons of booze, bad food and temptation.  i really have not had anything to drink in 3 weeks and think it is helping with me not making bad food choices.  this will be followed up by a 4 day sales meeting next week which is always a crazy party of constant alcohol and bad food.  i know that if i can make it through the next 8 days i am on a good trend.  

here goes...

cheese and 5 pounds

oh how i love cheese.  i believe that milk's only purpose is cheese.  all cheese, soft cheese, gooey stinky cheese, hard tangy cheese, all of it!  right now when i am craving bad for me food all i can focus on is cheese and lots of it.  i still have a little bit everyday but want to binge on it!  i am tracking all of my food after every thing i eat and cant believe that i would easily be able to eat 600-800 calories of cheese just for a snack.  now on to not focusing on food anymore.
good week, got through all of my training and a couple of days at the gym!  lost 5 pounds!

total weight loss 15 lbs

There are really two types of people. Those who say I can't. And those who say I can.

I am in a really good place of I can right now. I am not sure what is fueling it and what I need to do to keep it as the loudest part of my inner voice but I intend to sure as hell try! Maybe it's the blueberries I have been eating?
Maybe it's the fact that other than 21 reduced fat cheez it's a day I have cut out processed foods all together?
Maybe it's the fancy rental car I have while mine is in the shop?
Maybe it's me believing in myself enough that I cam focus more on what I can do rather than what I can't. And believing in myself enough to know that even if I can't do something right now that I am on a healthier path to getting to a point where I can.

It's Friday of a long weekend which will involve the Great Minnesota Get Together also know as the State Fair or anything you can think of on a stick and deep fried. Here is to saying I can make the right food decisions and not leave regretting the corn dog and cheese curds.

Body is not revolting as much this am. :)

Verb 1. procrastinate pro·cras·ti·nate - postpone doing what one should be doing;

now in all fairness/reality my next word should be:

de·ter·mi·na·tionNoun/diˌtərməˈnāSHən/

1. Firmness of purpose; resoluteness

so i had a great weekend.  managed to do all of my activities that were surrounded with temptation and not succumb to the pizza, beer and bar food.   i am officially into week 2 of my training for my 5k and i can honestly say it seems to be getting harder.  that is where the procrastination comes into play.  my body is yelling at me, my knees, shins, hips, legs and on and on hurt after this past 9 days.  while it is physically getting harder i am going farther and father each training day  - making forward progress!  i have not missed a training day yet and even added gym time in but every night after work it gets later and later before i get on the treadmill.  now that is also when determination comes into play, because no matter how late it may get i have not missed any of my training days yet.

i am working on adding pictures to my blog to help track my progress - i am not very tech savvy so it may take some time to figure out but definitely on the way.

on a side note today was SPD's 2nd day of 1st grade and his first day ever on a school bus.  i am a bit of a neurotic parent and it took a lot of discussion before i gave into letting my baby boy get a big bus with no seat belts and a person driving i don't not know let alone trust.  so today we went to the bus stop and waited for the bus.  it arrived, i said hi, confirmed it was for his school, took a picture and kissed him goodbye.  i then proceeded to follow the bus the whole way to school, allowing myself a better grasp of where the bus was going, how many stops, how many 'big" kids and overall safety of the driver.  now hindsight being 20/20 i really should have told said bus driver i was going to do this so he would not call the police to tell them a big black SUV was following the bus for 25 minutes. 

overall i am extremely impressed with his attention to detail and observations :) i wont follow the bus tomorrow.

hurricane, back to school weekend and week 1 down.

from South Carolina to Maine i have friends and family who live and work along the coast.  i hope this storm slows and weakens and worry for the devastation that could occur.  i am glad to know that everyone packed up, boarded up and left their homes, i was worried my uncle would try to ride out the storm.
this weekend proves to be a fun one.  SPD goes back to school on Monday, not sure how he is in 1st grade already!!  in celebration of the last weekend before reality hits him we are spending the weekend all things SPD.  we are going to a place i absolutely despise but know he will be tickled pink, Chu.ck E. Chee.se.  i tried to see if Dav.e & Bus.ters would be a great idea and apparently a good idea but not as cool as the CEC.  i am working in between activities to preserve the gardens bounty.  in the process of making salsa, tomato relish, pasta sauce, zucchini relish, and other assorted tomato, cucumber and zucchini products.  tomorrow night is my fantasy football draft!!  super excited, i did extremely well last year, showing all the boys that a girl can beat them all :)!  with all of these fun activities come tough food situations.  pizza, beer, bar food... i feel like i am in a good place as far as decision making but these are the situations where i tend to make the worst. 
week 1 is complete on my couch to 5k challenge for myself.  i have lost 10 pounds this week, i am sure all water weight but a fun number to report.  "running" last night was hard but it felt so good when i was finished.  the gym today for some weights and non impact cardio.  Monday starts week 2 of my couch to 5k running plan.  harder? easier? either way satisfying!

the Scale

so my goal is not use the scale everyday. 1 time a week, so hard but I think it will keep me less manic about my weight. here goes trying.

couch to 5k: day 1

so day one of my first step is complete.  yesterday i "ran" step one towards my crazy corn maze 5k in October.  i am kicking my self (if only momentarily) for allowing myself to get back to this point again.  only momentarily because i know i need to focus on today and not live in the past.  it was hard but i did it and actually think i could start at week two but don't want to hurt myself.  yesterday as i was sucking wind i was remembering the days when six miles was relatively easy and i want to be back at that point again!  today is a day of rest, going forward i will do my running training three days a week while supplementing the gym with cardio and weights on odd days with one day off a week.  

healthy food day as well, well all until i decided to have a beer with dinner.  i am giving up alcohol for awhile, it is a bad choice inhibitor so it seems best to trade it in for some water. :)

tomorrow is day two...  harder?  i bet it will be, but i am kinda looking forward to it.

couch to 5k

i have been here before at this same spot only fewer children. i am embarking on a series of baby steps to get me to an ironman completion by the time I turn forty. well really i will be forty and a few months as Coeur d'Alene is two months after my birthday. so i guess my blog should read fat to ironman in 22 months but really if i am not ready in 20 i don't think an extra two will make much of a difference. i have struggled with my weight most of my life, there are no excuses really, i grew up in a stable home with well balanced meals and good role models. i don't have medical issues that cause me to be overweight, for all i know my thyroid is working as it should, i do though have one issue that has caused me to be in the place i am in now. i make bad choices when it comes to food, i really enjoy food and i eat too much and at the wrong times. four years ago i embarked on running the ten miler which was part of the Twin Cities marathon weekend. as a result i lost over eighty pounds, finished the race and was in the best shape since probably my freshman year of high school. after that race i really set my sights on running a marathon and ultimately an ironman. why didn't it happen? i let work, life, bad decisions ect.. get in the way and spiraled back to where i was pre-ten miler. so here i am, out of shape, unable to run three miles and determined to change my life for good. i have all of the right motivation, i don't want to die at 50, i have three amazing children i want to be able to keep up with, i know that at some point or level my weight will hinder my advancement with the company i love and ultimately i have a hunger in my soul to cross the finish line even if at 16 and a half hours of one of the toughest races out there.
so here i am determined and at day one of my journey through baby steps to get to my ironman completion and a healthier me. couch to 5k training starts today with the culmination being The Worlds Largest Corn Maze 5k on October 16th.